None of the following statements are to be considered factual or true. I, David Friedlander, the author, place complete intellectual and legal burden of conclusions derived from reading what I have written upon the reader. Further, none of my statements are legally binding or intended to communicate with any person(s); further, the fantastic, deliberately ambiguous nature of my writing precludes any of my statements, including those statements in any and all linked posts, and those statements as they relate to my children, to be used as evidence for arrest or proof of my mental fitness, lack thereof, or any other legal proceeding intended to limit my ability to freely exercise my First Amendment Rights as an American, writer, historian, researcher, seeker, and — above all else — a storyteller. I have a decade of notes showing how I use the written word to make sense of the world, hoping that inquiry has relevance for those who choose to read what I write. TLDR: I’m just telling my too-fantastic-to-be-real stories. Truth is in your Court.
Yesterday, I made the long-in-the-waiting, but awkward confession on my Medium account, suggesting, as was suggested to me, that I am the Messiah who, per my name, will usher in an era of world piece. That’s the fun part.
The less fun part is about the judging. You see, my whole life I keep seeing the number 11. It’s my conclusion, this has something to do with Jeremiah 11:11:
Therefore thus saith the Lord, Behold, I will bring evil upon them, which they shall not be able to escape; and though they shall cry unto me, I will not hearken unto them.
Basically, the time to do better has passed. I’ve been appointed head Judge as to which souls are saved and which are bound for damnation. Based on what I feel in my heart, and what few passages I know from the Bible/Vedas/Dharma, they have reason to fear.
Being born a human is a big deal. Being born with the capacity for awareness and use that awareness for the advancement of humankind–liberation from Samsara, self-actualization–is a big deal. Not treating these things like the big deals they are, not using this precious human life towards liberating all life, is a much bigger deal than the news portrays.
Ya’ll should be far more concerned about your undying soul than a bad case of the sniffles…but more on that later.
For the time being, what’s important to know is there is no later date to get your act together (probably hasn’t been for a centuries now, to be honest). The time to do better was a long time ago.
This is Judgment Day and I am the Judge, clear?
Profiles in Damnation: Graham Hill
If there’s one guy I feel confident about damning, it’s world famous designpreneur/ecopreneur, startup, kite-surfing, beach bumming, tree-hugging Renaysssssssance Man, 2x TED-Speaker (no, not TEDx!!!!!!!!!!!!!), Graham fucking Hill. Before I explain why Graham is so deserving of damnation, I’m going to list a few observations I’ve made over the years:
- Humans are NOT created equally. All life is sacred, but if you tell me Stevie Wonder and some Private Equity douchebag have the same societal value, you clearly have no orientation to reality.
- If things are unequal, there must be hierarchies of value. There’s a top and a bottom of human capability, based on aggregate physical, emotional, intellectual, and realized economic capabilities (yes, all four, and in that order).
- G_d, the intelligence of the cosmos, Buddha Nature, capital T Truth…are the top of the order. The closer we are to Truth, the more we able to realize our set-potential based on aggregate physical, emotional, intellectual, and realized economic capabilities. Put another way, we are given the hand we are given. It’s our job to play those cards the best we can, not wish we had more aces.
- Some people like me keep on coming up aces. I swear, I deserve them, but…
- In today’s hyper-mediated reality, perceived physical, intellectual, emotional, realized economic capabilities can be distorted from actual physical, intellectual, emotional, and economic capabilities. People with dummy cards are being digitally enhanced to appear like they have a Royal Flush.
- Most commercial enterprises are built around exploiting those physical, intellectual, emotional, realized economic capabilities, promising that a product or service will change one’s place in the order, promising to ameliorate our deficiencies–lack of health, ignorance, etc.–rather than accentuate our capacities. These enterprises are designed to create commercial dependencies for wholeness.
- There’s only an order as it relates to human evolution. The ranking is fixed and no product or anything other than doing the intergenerational karmic purification will buy you salvation (ie.. cleaning up harms and causes created in this lifetime and others). This is the system that gives a blind, black Septuagenarian 1,000,000,000X the evolutionary value of a twenty-something, 5′ 9″ private equity bro in his new lifted Jeep.
- Many little people–usually ones swimming in one value or spirited to the top by mediating forces–will go extraordinary lengths to prove how high they are on the order.
One might assume celebrities are at the top of this order. This is true of celebrity forged in irrepressible talent (Stevie, Jerry, Miles, Van Gogh), but most celebrities are there pushing the agendas or more powerful folks in the background. Celebrity has too many costs.
In the perverse world of the ultra rich, public attention is a sign of low class. Public adoration of someone is proof of their junk value. People with elevated tastes look for exclusivity and finer role models and than ignorant, ill-bred vulgarians like the Kardashians or weird, usually short, money obsessed nerds like Jeff Bezos.
For early-aught, ultra-high-net-worth, late-stage-industrial-Capitalist, neoliberal, TEDaphilic imperialist types, no one was more alpha, no one had his story straighter, than Weekday Vegetarian, product-slinging minimalist, Graham Hill. Here are some of the Hills Graham crested:
- Started an “internet consultancy” in the late aughts that he sold for $10M to a multinational (Bowne, which was late absorbed by pederast-run Microsoft) in 1999, right before the first dot.com bubble burst.
- Started Treehugger.com, which he later sold to Discovery Communications for $10M in advance of their stillborn Planet Green Channel, and moments before blog journalism, and all moments-ago inflated values, tanked. Graham paid pennies to a distributed team, of mission-driven, international freelancer admins and writers, me included, while he hogged all the glory and appropriated their credibility for his vanity projects. Discovery soon thereafter pivoted from educational television to reality TV; much of Graham’s current wealth is a function of dividends accrued from Discovery’s decades of stock growth, fueled by an endless stream of bottom-feeding content.
- Started LifeEdited.com, where he made three vanity projects for himself. Graham paid pennies to a distributed team, of mission-driven, international freelancer technicians and writers, me included, while he hogged all the glory and appropriated their credibility for his vanity projects.
Graham, like many, was ripping me, and my peers, off for years, presenting a white-imperialist-friendly version of reality that was worth aspiring to.
Graham promised/promises “triple bottom line”–a mythological market condition or business where profits, planet, and people live in harmony. Market conditions did not need to reflect his promise. Graham was enough to construct at least one coherent narrative, one example of something to drive for things in the future, because things look bleak otherwise.
Graham’s example gives gives his admirers (paging Tony Hsieh) plausible deniability for inaction and perpetuating inefficient, environmentally-ruinous systems.
Graham Hill like any good de facto alpha male look. While the notion that short, fat, and asymmetrically-featured people have the same value in society (relative to average), I’ve seen little evidence humans have, or will, change their bias to tall, lean/muscular, symmetrical humans. Add a TED-talk level intellect and a couple headlines about his millions (realized economic potential) made with sustainable businesses (he makes cups, too)…the future looked bright with leaders like that.
But Graham was a victim of his own brand of virtue signals. Being the Weekday Vegetarian who ate meat everyday; the micro-housing guy with four homes; the low-impact guy going on kite-surfing trips to the Maldives with fellow poseur Blake Mykosie when that country declared a state of emergency because it’s being subsumed by rising seas, rising by anthropogenic forces generated by two multimillionaire fucktards traveling across the planet to play with each other…the contradictions between man and brand become too great.
Like his many admirers, I was initially duped by Graham’s lies. And after I had Graham speak for me at my Lucid event series in 2009, he and I stayed close. I wrote for Treehugger and in 2011, I was employee #1 at LifeEdited, where I was given subsistence wages, and where I started a global, intellectually and technical framework for a new world order, FWIW. My diligence, despite the meager compensation, was fueled by the belief Graham and I were working toward the same end. I thought we were trying to find a common language between our respective futures.
We were not.
When I was looking for actual solutions based on hard and soft economic considerations, Graham was planning what to say at next year’s TED Conference; TED being the Mecca for flabby, augmented-alpha-male millionaires and billionaires who worshipped and green-lit Graham.
When I was committing to transforming the future, getting married, having children, putting my actual wealth on the line (not the amount I could afford to lose), Graham was freezing his eggs, too busy dealing with the numerous, codependent relationships he unwittingly ended up in after accidentally opening his heart chakra at the Playa.
When I was envisioning and designing a vision of the future that contends and transforms the aftermath of industrialism gone wrong, Graham was was envisioning an antiseptic, rectilinear vision of the future where all messes and working parts are stored behind walls of thin white veneer.
When I was imitating my father (and the rest of my noble ancestors), taking on insurmountable challenges, on the world’s biggest stages, with the biggest players, confronting and solving the most complicated problems, standing up to the biggest bullies–when I was doing that–Graham was imitating his ten-kid, two-family starting airline-pilot father. Graham was upholding his ancestors’ tradition of replicating systems of oppression and systems that intrinsically oppose restoring the planet’s balance. [Economist’s son to pilot son: “There’s only one bottom line, dipshit.]
When I was investing in a friendship, he was investing in me, who, like all of his relationships, he viewed as an renewable energy resource, exploiting my pure intentions, time, and giving me just enough reward to not leave (until I did).
Graham’s secret identity came to the fore in the fateful days of September, 2019, when I was visiting him in Venice, California, where he’d been living for a year or two.
Though the trip was not exclusively to fund-raise, it was at this time I had a number of ideas that needed support, including what continues to be my focus, the Change Order Group. This work directly related to what was started LifeEdited, which he had mostly abandoned by this point. I was also in the middle of some heroic personal crises, stemming from a divorce gone extremely gone wrong; a divorce Graham was intimately familiar and ostensibly sympathetic with me.
My faux friend’s Graham’s response to the simultaneous dumpster fires happening in the environment and with someone he called a friend? Same as always: more self obsession, navel gazing, beach volleyball, cigarettes, Raya-swiping, anti-depressants, and weekly climate marches with his lily-white F-list-influencer LA friends.
In fact, when I was on the phone with lawyers and Child Services, or I was assembling the most advanced, far-reaching startup concept of the 21st century, he was scrambling to find an electric or biodiesel school bus for the aforementioned virtue-signalling climate march field trip for his bleach-white, dumb as rocks, rich AF friends.
Yes, I was on fire when this happened. Yes, I realize to impotent men, expressed rage like mine can look like mental illness (it’s okay, rage subsides when you deal with it). Yes, I realize it might seem odd that I escaped to Topanga and tried to launch a guerrilla presidential campaign. If Graham ever took the time to get to know me, he’d have known how much more capable I was/am than the fossils running for, and winning, the presidential election. Maybe Graham would help me if he know those things, but probably not, and I’m not willing to wait until he comes around.
Imperialist parasites like Graham have no value now or in the future. I needed his help for my work, to protect for future generations, including my very real children. I needed a friend to process what was happening, because I thought I was a good man, father, and ex-husband, yet I was being treated the opposite way.
In Graham, I found neither material support, nor friendship. I found an insecure, lazy, gatekeeper of the means to build a bright future. The reason is incapable of being anything other than a slave-owner Graham because exploitation and deceit in his DNA; a function of culture so divorced from so nature, so enthralled with their achievements in spite of their horrific costs–people like Graham cannot be reformed. Sorry, not sorry.
Maybe if you spent less effort blinding yourself and more time exposing and giving, things would be different. But they’re not.
While it’s not the distinction Graham might want to be remembered by, I want to announce that, until further notice, Graham Hill is damned to eternal hellfire per the Messiah. At a certain point, there has to be a deadline to use your seed, sort to speak, or it won’t grow something new.
Graham is a dead organism, and he’s part of a pack of zombie beta boys–Blake, Jack, Mark, Jeff, Elon–who are hogging all the resources, using every trick they can trying to maintain their perceived value and relevance against actual value and relevance in a universe of big data. This is not 2007, where Fast Company PR stunts and achievements are cannot be framed by their connections to systems of oppression, exploitation, and a dead way of life.
Graham Hill, for your transgenerational crimes of participation in systems of imperialistic domination, for your continued, willful blindness to atrocities near and far, for the countless lies you’ve promulgated, for lacking any humility, for being a shitty friend, you have been damned!
The Lord, AKA The Messiah, AKA David.
P.S.Fuck you, Graham.